CBA Record May-June 2021

Here’s an example of how it works: “Forever is composed of nows,” a quote from Emily Dickinson, is on the left side near the middle of the book. And this exercise, with room to write the answers, is on the right side: “List five things in your life that put you at ease.” And I wrote, “talking to friends; having a drink; a good annual check-up at the doctor; talking to my 93-year-old mother on the phone and hearing that she feels good; and enjoying a good book or movie.” Here’s another example with a quote I presume Patel made up: “Your fear will always lead you to the magic.” And on the right side? “What are two fears you’d like to work through?” This is accompanied by sub-questions that get the reader to the heart of the matter: “Why I feel afraid; what this fear is telling me I want most; instead of feeling afraid, I wish I felt….; I can begin feeling this way by….” Hokey? Sometimes I felt that way, but I painstakingly wrote out my answers. And I’m glad I did.

Because a very interesting thing hap- pened: Many of my answers ended up being pretty much the same. It became clear to me what was causing so much of my anxiety. No matter what the quote, or what the questions were that got to the heart of it all, I kept responding to the questions with variations on the same themes. After doing all the exercises, it was clear what was really at the heart of my anxiety: A handful of things that need a lot of attention. It wasn’t free-floating anxiety or just “nerves” or my unique physical constitu- tion. A few things in my life need work. Whether that work will solve my anxiety problem remains to be seen. But I am fairly certain of what I need to work on. And I’m fairly certain that work will help quell my anxiety. Not that I didn’t know what I needed to work on before – but it was easier to ignore. And blame my “nerves.” Now that I’ve done these exercises, it’s harder to do that. Now I have to pay attention.

Anyone who wants to quell their anxiety could profit from these sorts of exercises. Because at the end of this exploration into what makes one tick—or makes one miserable—it’s likely that a handful of things will keep popping up, just as there were for me. And the problems themselves, and the solutions (perhaps) to fixing them, or just feeling calmer by learning to live with them if you have to, may cause less anxiety simply by Patel’s system of clarifying what is what. And that alone may help win the battle against anxiety.

Bonnie McGrath is a sole practitioner, a blogger at Chicagonow.com and a member of the CBA Record Editorial Board.

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