Brave Enough To Be Bliss

college. A journalism degree was required for the position. One particular candidate seemed very eager and had emailed me directly saying how interested she was in the position. She had gone to KU, was graduating with a degree in journalism within the month, had been involved in a variety of activities including Crimson Girls (the KU dance team as they were referred to at that time), a sorority, leadership activities, and she had writing samples…but for some reason, I kept telling myself she wasn’t a fit. I didn’t personally know any Crimson Girls or any members of her sorority, but I think it was those things that must have intimidated me or biased me against her from things I had heard while I was at KU. Regardless, however, it was wrong of me not to interview her as she truly was one of the best candidates from the resumes I had received. I interviewed several other candidates, but none of them seemed like the right fit. The Crimson Girl candidate was persistent, so when she emailed me again, I did have her come in for an interview and immediately knew she was the candidate I wanted to hire. Later, I did tell her about my mistake in not immediately interviewing her and while it was embarrassing and not a good show of leadership that I did it, sharing the experience was also honest, human and a good way for each of us to learn from the experience. She learned persistence can pay off and both of us learned that allowing bias to impact the hiring process is unethical, illegal and just plain wrong. Had I continued with my bias, I would have missed making one of the best hiring decisions of my career. I was in charge of community relations, so I managed all the requests for support we received from community organizations, decided who would be invited to fill the tables when we sponsored an event and attended most of them myself. Because it was part of my job to do this, I figured out how to fight the urge to stay in my car and not go in. The larger annual events were easier for me because my husband would go with me and he could talk with anyone very easily, so I just followed his lead and felt like I got the night off for the most part. I could just put on the dress, put on a smile and let hi m do the talking. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the people when I was on my own, it was just work to force myself to go into an environment where I felt very unsure of myself, out of place, and as if everyone would be looking at me knowing I didn’t belong t here. I remember watching people who had authentic confidence, thinking I wished I could be like them, but then I got real and knew I’d be faking it for a lifetime. It was the best I could do when I was me, and I knew realistically I was lucky that I actually learned how to fake it well enough to convince people I was happy to be there when inside I just felt like a miserable fake.

As a leader and human being, I had identified my gift for helping everyone around me clearly see and appreciate their strengths, beauty and potential. Everyone, that is, except me.

“Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.” Unknown

Resources ▪ Dr. Andy Yarborough | Licensed Clinical Psychologist (@mywellco.life) • Instagram photos and videos ▪ Dr. Andy Yarborough | Licensed Clinical Psychologist (@mywellco.life) • Instagram photos and videos ▪ Empathy in Action: A Thoughtful Look at the Empathetic Leader | Blanchard LeaderChat ▪ Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.: Brown, Brené: 9780399592522: Amazon.com: Books

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