Bench & Bar November/December 2025

reaction is based on what we believe about the feedback giver and their motives or how we have been treated by them.

point by using a question such as, “What’s one thing you see me doing, or failing to do, that’s getting in my own way?” 13 Another idea is to look for themes in the feedback, especially across givers, and then choose one theme to focus on at a time. 14 In conclusion, receiving feedback well is a skill that will take time to develop and per haps someday master. But like with all skills development, practice makes progress, and progress supports growth. Thus, the next time you ask someone for feedback about your writing, remember that you really do want the information, and you know how to push beyond your common reactions to learn from it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

• EXAMPLE REACTIONS: “I do not trust your judgment,” or “You are the problem, not me.” • RESPONSE ADVICE: Try to untangle what was said from who said it, and then discuss both clearly and separately.

MELISSA N. HENKE is the Robert G. Lawson & William H. Fortune Pro

fessor of Law and Director of the Legal Research and Writing Program at the Uni versity of Kentucky J. David Rosenberg College of Law. She is also a member of the Kentucky Bar Association.

The authors emphasize that until we can engage in this separation, “[t]he topic of ‘who’ defeats the topic of ‘what’ and the original feedback is blocked.” 8 Third , there are identity triggers , which are set off by us as the users of the feedback . In other words, something about the feedback has “caused our identity – our sense of who we are – to come undone.” 9 • EXAMPLE REACTIONS: “I’ll never figure this out,” or “I mess up everything.” • RESPONSE ADVICE: Become aware of one’s typical feedback distortions, and then work to dismantle them. The authors remind us that we have dif ferent wiring and temperaments, which explains why our reactions to feedback will vary greatly. 10 Relatedly, identity triggers are also tied to our mindset. If we tend toward a fixed mindset, meaning we consider traits as fixed and finished, then we are more likely to experience criticism as a failure. How ever, if we tend toward a growth mindset, meaning we see ourselves as ever evolving and growing, then we are more likely to view criticism as a challenge worth accept ing. 11 Thus, by also working to cultivate a growth mindset, we can learn to handle feedback more productively – namely, to view the feedback as valuable information about where we are now and what we can work on next, because our traits and abili ties can change and grow with effort. 12 All that said, even once we become more skillful at receiving feedback, it can still seem like the information is too much to fully process much less use. Professors Stone & Heen offer advice here as well. One idea is to ask for feedback on just one discrete

ENDNOTES 1 Stone & Heen, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well 8 (Penguin Books 2014). 2 Chew & Pryal, The Complete Legal Writer 437 (Carolina Academic Press, 2d ed. 2020). 3 Stone & Heen, supra n. 1, at 9. 4 Id . at 4, 32. Educators refer to this as formative feedback, which is geared at helping students improve. ABA Legal Educ. and Admissions to the Bar, Legal Writing Sourcebook 199 (3d ed. 2020). 5 Stone & Heen, supra n. 1, at 6-8. 6 Id. at 15-26. They also devote an entire chapter to navigating feedback conversations. Id . at 229-56. 7 Id . at 16, 18-21, 25. 8 Id . at 16, 21-23, 25. 9 Id . at 17. 10 Id . at 16-17, 23-26. 11 Id . at 191-93 (citing Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (Ballantine Books 2006)). 12 Id . at 24-26, 191, 196-97. 13 Id . at 258. 14 Id . at 259-60; see also Chew & Pryal, supra n. 2, at 439 (describing a method of sorting feedback into major themes and then focusing first on themes that will address big-picture issues).

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