Bench & Bar January/February 2025

PRESIDENT'S PAGE

the struggle

is real

BY RHONDA JENNINGS BLACKBURN KBA PRESIDENT

T he last three president’s pages, I have essentially used it as a personal diary of my experiences as a lawyer and personal philosophies and see no reason to stop now. Each page, however, while dis closing personal details and beliefs, also has a point. This particular page might be the most personal, but also contains the most important point. The KBA does so much to support Kentucky’s lawyers, but the most important support they give is to those law yers who are suffering from mental health and substance abuse issues. At the banquet of this past year’s annual convention, I was stunned to hear Bruce Simpson speak about his battle with depression and his openness to discuss his struggles and attempted suicide. The brav ery that Bruce showed has stuck with me over the past several months since I heard him speak. Inspired by Bruce, throughout my speaking engagements for the KBA, I, too, have tried to be open about my own battle with depression and dealing with it while practicing law. I didn’t always know that I had depression and, growing up Gen X, it’s not really some thing that people talked about. As I heard Bruce speak at convention, I thought of how suicide also impacted my own life. In my second year of law school, I was called out of class to learn that my father had taken his own life. It was sudden and unexpected.

None of us had any clue. As devastating as it was to lose my dad, I also think it might have saved my life. For quite a while, I had been unhappy in law school. Even though doing well academi cally, I wasn’t getting the clerkship offers I thought my academic record warranted. I was having trouble concentrating and was second-guessing my decision to go to law school in the first place. Where everything had come so easy before, now everything was falling apart. However, until my father died, I didn’t recognize that there was a medical reason for what I was experienc ing. I did not realize that depression was a “thing” and there was treatment for it. Following this revelation, I took some time to seek the help I needed. I deferred law school for a year. I sought treatment. I got a job to pay my bills and got off the stress merry-go-round of law school. I contem plated not going back, but I’m ever so glad that I did. I am sure that when I left law school, many thought they’d never see me again. Something drew me back to the law that I couldn’t explain. Maybe it’s just one more way that fate has been on my side. It would be nice to say there’s a happily ever after, but this is real life so the struggle with battling depression continued and contin ues today. If you care about your work and your clients, you internalize their struggles

and add them to your own. It is a heavy burden for any lawyer, but especially one who struggles with depression and anxiety. So many times, I wondered if I was cut out for this profession. But with medication, therapy, and strength of will, I have learned that I can do it and do it well. The work that the KBA does to assist attor neys who struggle with mental health and substance abuse (and I believe there are more of us out there than we care to admit) is vital to protecting our own. I wish that such services had been available or known to me as a young lawyer. It is important that all attorneys know the availability of these services, young or old. If you need help, the KBA is here to help with abundant resources for those who ask. When I made the commitment to serve as KBA president, I made a promise to do so openly and honestly. If my disclosures help one person deal with their own issues, then it will be well worth it. I wish that people talked about it more when I was young. Things might have turned out differently in my family. I’m grateful that Bruce Simpson is here, not only for his family’s sake, but to share his story. If he can be so brave and open, how can I do any less?

2

january/february 2025