BIP Fall 2024

Professional Development

The lifelong impact of professional mentorships

To avoid jumping to the interpretation phase too quickly, ask the other person to walk you through their process and ask questions. Acknowledge the simi larities without minimizing the differences. Another critical component to arguing with integrity is to be honest about what you know and don’t know. One of the most chal lenging parts of the formula is to examine the narratives you have accepted as fact. “There may be a critical piece of the conversation that you got wrong, even if it was from a reliable source,” Giles said. “Step into the shoes of the person you’re talking with to see if the narrative is true for them as well.” How many times do people agree just because they want the conversation to end? That’s not what success looks like, Giles said. “We will not succeed if we simply have people just going along,” she said. “That’s not success. That’s compliance. And if all we do is comply, we don’t get far.” Repeat, rest and represent To round out the VACR model, repeat, rest and represent the previ ous three steps — and then deter mine if it’s time to compete or col laborate. The African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together,” is Giles’ guiding principle. “We often think competition and collabora tion have to be mutually exclusive, and they don’t,” Giles said. Why don’t people collaborate? Fear, vulnerability and short-term focus. “I don’t want to partner be cause I could win in this moment if I go after it myself,” she said. “But what is better for the long term? If you don’t figure it out, you’ll never go to the next level of success.”

A longtime NABIP member, it wasn’t until this year that Maria Irwin, director of benefits at Advanced Benefit Solutions in Driftwood, Texas, felt like she truly belonged. What changed

good fit. And quite frankly, it was a perfect fit,” says Mordo. No set format Although Irwin and Mordo talk monthly over Zoom, they’ve also met in person at Capitol Conference and the Annual Convention. “I’ve attended all of these conferences, and it’s really because of the conversations and the encouragement I get from Dave,” says Irwin. It’s not their style to create an agenda for their meetings. “We just free-wheel it. A good mentor will do far more listening than talking, and I’m a decent listener,” says Mordo. However, every mentorship is different, and the only ‘wrong’ way to do it is not to have one at all, says Susan L. Combs, president of Combs & Company in New York City — herself an advocate of meeting agendas. Speaking at NABIP’s Annual Convention, Combs shared a reflection sheet she uses to guide meetings. “I’m Type A, so I like to have structure with my mentorship,” she told attendees. Items on a typical meeting agenda for Combs include: • What is the current focus, chal lenge or concern? • What are the goals until the next meeting? • What is the status of annual goals? Be mutually beneficial Combs, author of Pancakes for Roger: A Mentorship Guide for Slaying Dragons , noted a study by The

her perspective? Joining The Leadership Mentor Program. Designed to provide new and current members with senior leadership support, the official goal of NABIP’s Leadership Mentor Program is “to develop the skills, confidence and executional ability of new leaders with the intent of future growth and alignment within the Association.” Unofficially, it’s been a window into the big-picture goals and values of the association, says Irwin, president-elect of the Austin chapter. That’s thanks to her mentor, David Mordo, principal of D Mordo Consulting, LLC, in Wilmington, North Carolina. “The information that Dave gives me from a national level, I can bring that information to the Austin chapter. So I feel like I bring a lot more to chapter meetings because of Dave,” Irwin adds. In the 4th quarter of 2023, the Leadership Development Committee paired Irwin with Mordo after both completed an application for the program. “They thought we would be a

Maria Irwin, director of benefits at Advanced Benefit Solutions.

16 bip magazine Fall 2024